we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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