walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
