I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Text me some of your sweat
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
