Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
