Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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