My nipple is on Facebook.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
