this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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