Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
