matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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