Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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