Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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