i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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