Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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