He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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