i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Welp...herpes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
