We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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