Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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