im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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