so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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