You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
