I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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