i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
