I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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