So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
