i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
