What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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