oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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