The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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