We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
