Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can you bring me the toilet please
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
