3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dignity is for republicans.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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