David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
