Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he thought i was a dude.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
