she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
