Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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