I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
