Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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