The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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