You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think i have two assholes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
