the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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