So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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