I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
