it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
