Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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