Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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