New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
did i walk over a car last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
