ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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