Non-Jews are for practice
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
