worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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