i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
