Whatcha textin bout Willis?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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