We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
