I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
