Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
